For the Love of Bar Refaeli

I’m sure that most have heard about this by now.

Passengers are angry about being forced to fly on a new Southwest Airlines plane featuring a bikini-clad model, saying it is “soft porn” and is offensive to families.

www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,504267,00.html

Now to begin with, this is America and no one is forced to do anything other than submit to the occasional gestapo-like cop beating and ass rammings from non-sensical ever climbing insurance premiums. The beauty of living in a capatilistic society is that you can choose and so by not choosing is your way of sanctioning something you might find distasteful. If these obvious cock-suckers don’t like how SWA paints their planes, because that is somehow fucking important to them, how a fucking plane is painted, then they have the choice to fly with any of a dozen other airlines. Or drive, or stay the fuck home, what do I care. The point is they can choose. Raising their ire to the point of national news coverage and saying things like forced suggests they think the goverment should step in and do something. That’s facisim my friends, and the last time we let that rear its ugly head something like 48 million people died. Yeah, so think about that you little whiny bitches.

Ass and Aircraft. Finally.

But you know, that’s only part of the problem with this outrage. A bikini-clad model is “soft porn” and is offensive to families? Are you for fucking real? Have you ever been to the grocery store? There are bikini-clad models on the cover of nearly every magazine in the racks of  nearly every checkout line. Why aren’t you bitching at Krogers or H.E.B? Ever been to a bookstore? They have an entire wall dedicated to magazines with the same magnificent display of  idealistic female flesh. You boycotting bookstores? No. What about Victoria’s Secret commercials on T.V, or any of a thousand weekly ads that come in the newspaper with hot tricks modeling bras and panties?  At least the bikini is outerwear, something you will see women wearing at any beach, lake, swimming pool or sidewalk in the summer. Thus, pictures of women in bras and panties should cause a much bigger uproar.  But  I don’t hear shit out of you pansies about that. So what’s the difference? Is it because Bar has been blown up to gigantic delectable proportions so that her cleavage now truly resembles a golden valley of lust and lasciviousness? Because let me tell you something, there is only one word for that. Awesome. Pure, unadulterated awesome. So yeah, what you call soft porn is everywhere and you’re still buying your groceries without so much as a pip, so shut the fuck up. You’re a fucking hypocrite, that much is clear, but let’s move on.

What’s really annoying is that you find the sight of Bar Refaeli in a bikini stretching out her long sun-kissed delicious limbs offensive. Well you sir, are a fag. There is simply no other explanation other than your mom molested you as a child and now you are so sexually repressed that you want to fuck it all up for the rest of us. We’re not talking about Jenna Jameson sucking the chrome off a trailer hitch (which I find equally unoffensive, but you know, maybe not while I’m eating). We’re talking about one of the finest examples of all god’s creations, in a swimsuit,  relaxing  in a sensual pose, but magnified times a hundred and painted upon the phallic fuselage of a SWA 737. Breathtaking — the complete opposite of offensive  you stupid queer.

Unfortunately, this gaffe really isn’t that surprising. American has been establishing itself as a nation of uptight prudes for some time now. From nipple slips at Superbowl halftime games and now this; as a people you generally find the exposed human body as somehow immoral and distasteful. I blame religion. A relgion that is essentially founded upon guilt and shame and all kinds of other ridiculous dogmatic directives with respect to sex. And then that same religion will aggrandize war and violence — it’s no wonder we’re a nation of empire building with no compunction of launching fire and forget cruise missles, but god forbid we see a nipple in public.

As a first world country, we’re alone in this. I was in Berlin last year, and was amazed at the unabashed, unashamed attitudes toward sex.

Ordinary department store sidewalk window display in Berlin. Notice the great tits.

And why should they, it’s the most elementary aspect of being human. But our puritanical absurdly self-righteous society finds that kind of frankness immoral. You know who else doesn’t tolerate females exposing any skin? The fucking Taliban. Another fucked up, uptight band of religious zealots who insist on pretending that we were all delivered by Allah and I guess a bunch of fucking storks, because we sure as hell can’t have been in contact with a vagina. So yeah, congratulations, you now have something in common with the Taliban. Dick.

Whatever, fuck them. I applaud SWA for recognizing a truly sweet piece of ass, and then having the balls to adorn their aircraft with said ass. I want to fly in this plane. I want a fucking seat on the wing so I can look longingly at her magnificent tits on my trip to where ever. Or if the wing isn’t available, maybe I can get a window seat next to her crotch. Yeah….Because that my friends, is what it should mean to be an American, not the current sorry state that it actually has become. It’s like Clint Eastwood said, “We live in more of a pussy generation now…” Fuckin’ A Clint, fuckin’ A.

Mediocrity

First post,

I’d assume things will get a bit more organized and fluid as this blog develops. It’s a possibility, however, my experiences have taught me to proceed with low expectations. Pessimistic? Call it what you want, but I find I’m a lot less disappointed in general with this attitude than otherwise. If I’m surprised then that’s great. But this leaves me with nothing but upside. And let’s face it, we’re constantly exposed to a lot more of the ‘wackness’ than the ‘dopeness’.

That could be because the standard is skewed more toward the right thing to do. There’s not a lot of room for above and beyond behavior because really, that should be characterized as the standard. You don’t get props for doing the right thing, because that’s what you should be doing. The standard should be doing the right thing, doing a good job, etc. You shouldn’t  get points for being decent relatively speaking. If you’re failing math at school but you’re the only one not selling crack to other kids, that still doesn’t make you any thing close to the ideal. Good for you, you don’t sell crack to middle school kids. You still suck at math.

For better or worse, I don’t think I can see it any other way. I don’t believe in rewarding incompetence and failure. With little kids, sure, let them have their childhood without the pressures of the expectations of success at everything that they do. But older kids? Hell yes. Why teach them anything at all if you’re going to give them some bullsh*t understanding of the way the truly competitive world works.

Here’s a good example; back in Januaray a Covenant School girls basketball team beat Dallas Academy 100-0. There was such outrage over this supposedly unsportsmanlike conduct that the Covenant School offered to forfeit the game. What?! Apparently it wasn’t enough and the COACH OF THE WINNING TEAM WAS FIRED!! Are you f*cking kidding me? Did they cheat? Did they spike Dallas’ water bottles with quualudes? No, they just smoked their opponents, which was what the f*ck they were supposed to do. And our society, that has been so dumbed down by the over sensitivity toward other peoples feelings, punished them for it.

I can’t say this loud enough. F*CK THAT SH*T!!! How the f*ck else is Dallas Academy going to fully learn the lesson that they have no business playing basketball than from the full on ass kickery they received? Why, as a society, do we insist on coddling the lowest common denominators, the losers, the weakest links? What favor do you think we bestow on these f*ckups by telling them that they played well and doggone it, they are just as good as the victors? Cause let me tell you something that is unquivocally true, they are NOT anywhere close to as good. You know how I know. The godammn score, that’s how. See, the score is a nice emperical way of determing worth in that particular match. When you can’t score a single basket over the course of a game, the score tells you that when it comes to basketball, you suck balls!

Failure gives you two options; get better or get out. When you sugar coat that sh*t then you give people unrealistic expectations. That  leads to the losers not finding their true calling and staying with something that they aren’t any good at. But what’s even worse is that the winners feel guilty about their success. In the end, we produce a society mired in total mediocrity.

That my friends has become the American status quo. That is why my expectations hover around ground zero. And this is the sort of ranting that will be the norm on this blog. If it isn’t your cup of tea, then go the f*ck somewhere else because I certainly won’t cow tow to your desire for sunshine up the ass sensibilities.